Friday, February 17, 2017

Good bye Teenagers

I hear many people saying ill things of their teenagers.  My mom use to tell my sister and I all the time "I can't wait for you girls to be gone" - and probably rightfully so.  We were both a handful in different ways.  I on the other hand have NEVER felt that way about my teenagers. I embraced everything that came with that phase in their lives.  They were both super involved in activities at school and had active social lives.  Now did I worry about them when they went "out" with friends - Absolutely!  Did they have missteps along the way - Absolutely again - no one goes through life without them.  But we embraced each mistake along the way and helped it be a learning lesson for each of them.

When I think back over their teenage years - these are some things that stick out in my mind:

Christopher was notorious for forgetting or losing things.  Forgetting his homework, books needed for class, fees or forms for various activities for school. I cannot count how many times my dad had to search for things at my house and drive to Lake Charles to bring Christopher whatever it was he needed.  Christopher even drove to school his senior year (yes I said SENIOR year) without his shoes on his feet.  He had to call me to bring him his shoes so he could go to class.  He has lost keys, uniforms, shoe (yes just one to the pair).  When Christopher was a freshman in high school I had bought him a uniform standard navy blue tie that he had to wear on Thursdays (mass day).  At this point, I had bought him 2 because he had lost one already.  Knowing that I would be upset with him for losing yet another and running out of time bc I'm certain he just realized he was without the tie on Wednesday night, he was creative.  He found a tie (purple paisley) and a navy blue jacket that obviously no one wore recently and made his own navy blue tie.  The sleeve of the jacket was cut off and apart for fabric that would be taped (yes hundreds of pieces of tape) to the existing purple paisley tie.  No one at school was the wiser.  I still have that tie with all the tape still holding that blue fabric.  Priceless piece of Christopher's handy work that we will laugh at forever.

Another memorable time is playoff basketball game in Baton Rouge.  Just a mere hours before game time he announces that he left his basketball shoes and will need another pair.  (Yes - losing and leaving shoes was a common theme in Christopher's life).  In the pouring rain, I set out to find a size 13 basketball shoe in the right color of white and blue - thankfully we found them in time for him to play the big game.  That boy was maddening sometimes but it was part of the abundance of life - the funny stuff that kept us in stitches.  His classmates and their parents even recognized that about him and parodied him in a skit at the Graduation Lock In.

Having a teenage girl is a different experience altogether.  The issues they deal with are completely opposite than what a teenage boy goes through.  With Lizzy there was definitely a little more drama (but not too much - lol) and Much Much more information that was shared with me.  Lizzy told me everything (or everything she wanted me to know).  I knew about friends, who likes who, who doesn't like who, who got on her nerves, what people were wearing -  I got a lesson in fashion, music and social correctness (aka how lame something was).  Lizzy was always very social and my house was full of her friends, hosted many picture sessions before dances, layout by the pool get togethers etc.  She included me in everything!  Junior year she asked if I would host the Junior Prom dinner for her group of friends - only 42 kids.  I was Super excited that she was allowing me to be part of that and I happily agreed - only to be given a stern look and told that I couldn't just HAVE dinner -  that it needed to be decorated according to the theme and look amazing.  No worries - I got this!  I jumped to work and borrowed, bought, ordered and had made all the things I needed to transform my house to an Arabian Night themed palace.

The dress shopping for the Homecoming Dresses, Prom Dresses, Twirp, etc. were an experience unto themselves.  We traveled far and wide (New York to Houston) to find the perfect dress, sometimes trying on so many I couldn't keep them all straight.  But when she knew it was THE dress, I could see it on her face and guaranteed my pocket book felt it.  Nothing with Lizzy ever came as a bargain but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Senior Prom I lucked out - 1st dress, 1st store was a winner!!!

Lizzy as compared to Christopher couldn't wait to get her license and a car.  And when she did I missed that time we spent together shuttling her from activity to activity.  I lost count of all of the whiskey dents that she had on her car from various mishaps on the road.  Thankfully that's all we had to deal with. It was the stories I got on how it happened that were more memorable than the actual dent was.  Oh Boy the recollection of a teenager when they have a fender bender. Christopher was not super excited to have his license - he was very non-chalant about it.  But once he got his license he had his share of whiskey dents too.  Backing up into his dads parked car in the driveway after walking right by it to get in his truck.  I can even admit that I backed straight into Lizzy in the driveway too - not looking back to see her pulling in.  Needless to say - car repairs were a bit of an expense at my house during those teenage years.

SPORTS!  Sports connects people for a common goal.  And me and my teenagers were no different.  Christopher played basketball throughout high school and in to college.  Game Days for me meant wearing the school colors - from head to toe! I never missed a game - I was front and center cheering him on - and screaming the loudest in the stands at the referees.  I was his biggest fan.  He was dedicated and worked hard throughout those 4 years to play at the level he wanted.  Lizzy cheered.  Going to see her cheer at football and basketball games was fun but the real fun was watching them prepare and preform for Cheer Camp and Competitions.  The cheer mom was cheering on her cheerleader and the team as we traveled near and far competing.  Lizzy too worked hard to perfect her tumbling skills so she could compete on the level she wanted.  Senior year paid off - her team won big at all camps and competitions we attended.  PRICELESS moments..... Seeing your teenagers work hard for something and getting the payoff they desire. 

The Graduation Lock In is an event that is tradition at St. Louis High School and was an amazing experience for both Me, as I volunteered to help with the event in 2012 and for Christopher and his friends. That night we spent locked in the McNeese athletic center playing silly games and relay races bonded the parents with each other and allowed parents and the kids to have closure to this chapter of their lives, ready to move on with the next step. One of my jobs was to create the end of the night slide show of all the kids favorite pictures throughout the last 4 years (and I nailed it if I say so myself)  It was funny, heartwarming and moving to see all the great memories they made together as a class.

I had so enjoyed Christopher's senior lock in I had started thinking about the planning for when it was Lizzy's turn.  The time went so quickly and there I was again, graduating another of my children.  When it was Lizzy's senior year the parent volunteers had decided not to do a lock in and my girl was devastated and so was I.  Lizzy asked me to help fix the situation and once again I said "No Worries - I got this". Me and some amazing moms pulled off the best Senior Lock In ever - with a theme of May Madness (spinoff of March Madness my favorite time of year).  It was a great night and at the end of the night I sat next to Lizzy and cried and cried that high school was ending.

Many conversations during their teen years centered around college and what they thought they wanted to be when they grew up - and that's a hard decision for an 18 year old to make.  Thankfully I have a job that opens my eyes to see beyond the top 5 career paths, i.e. Doctor, Lawyer, Nurse, Accountant or Engineer.  The time spent traveling to College Fairs and Campus Visits were priceless opportunities to connect with my kids and allow them to see the possibilities their futures hold.  They both were able to choose the college that was the best fit for them, offered the curriculum that would give them what they were looking for in their education and provide the "College" experience that they envisioned - and it was very different for both but perfect in the sense that they chose and I only guided.

I miss having teenagers in my house.  Yes folks I said that.  Let me say it again..... I miss having teenagers in my house. They brought laughter to my house with their quick witted humor and the way they argued with each other(and still do).  That part of my journey of being a mom was amazing and full of blessings beyond what I can describe in words.  It gets me teary eyed every time when I think about those years - I loved every moment of it and it wasn't always easy but so worth it.  I have some amazing young adults and having them now transition to their 20's isn't so bad - it is turning out to be just as rewarding a journey.








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