Mother's Day

Mother's Day is traditionally where we, as mothers, get a day to be pampered and recognized by our children and family for the job we do as MOTHERS.   My perspective is different.  Mother's Day for me is a recognition and celebration of those that came into my life and made me a mother.  Those 4 beautiful blessings that GOD so deemed me worthy to mother, nurture and love in this world as my own.  And my children are quite amazing if I may so myself.  I have a special relationship with each one that is different from the others - unique and beautiful in their own way.  Their being, their mere existence is what makes my life worth living. They bring the joy into my life each day, and as the BIGS are grown and gone from my home and not with me every day - my joy does not diminish, as I get joy from seeing their successes as independent adults.  Being a mother is not work for me....  it never has been.  Being a mother to my 4 amazing children + 1 (Lilly) is an honor and has been easy and fun and it still is.  The abundance of life, as my own mother would say.

Each mother's day, I always speak of the 2 mothers in China that are without their "joy" today and every day.  I pray that they are comforted and have peace with the knowledge that their beautiful, strong, and gifted girls are safe, healthy and LOVED beyond measure.  One day may we know their names and see their faces.... (in this life or in heaven) we can hope and pray.  May they each know how eternally grateful I am for the privilege bestowed upon me in being Maddie and Mia's mother.  Its a honor I do not take lightly as I can only imagine the sacrifice they made for their girls to have a better life and the void I know they must live with.

Happy Mother's Day!

Redemption and Soccer

Soccer season has begun and Maddie is so excited to be playing on a tournament soccer team as well as her regular recreation team.  We traveled to Houma for the first tournament of the season.  I was not excited about making such a long drive for a kids soccer game and my friends and acquaintances look at me a little funny when I tell them where I am going - "That long drive for 9 year old soccer?"  And through my tiredness, in my head I say the same thing.  It wasn't until the first game that I am reminded why I go and what I am watching is so much bigger than 9 year old soccer. 

So let's discuss the game stats first.  The first game we played we won 5-0, Maddie scored 2 of the 5 points.  The second game we also won 3-1 and she scored 2 of the 3 points.  So out of the 8 total points we scored as a team - Maddie is responsible for half of them.  The final game for the championship was cancelled due to rain and boy was she disappointed.

So back to the purpose of the post, which is not to talk about points scored or games won - which for a sports fanatic like me is what I thrive on.  Since Maddie began playing soccer it was amazingly evident that she had a gift for the sport and if you read my blog on a regular you have probably seen a post or two about her accomplishments on the soccer field.  When talking to friends and people in the community that ask about Maddie, the topic of soccer and her athletic ability often come up and I find myself bragging and championing her abilities.  But what I realized this weekend watching her is that its not about the sport or the wins......  Its about Redemption.  That God took this FRAIL little girl (and I mean frail) and turned her in to a BEAST of an athlete - gave her talent beyond measure.  When I watch her score each goal - I cheer (LOUDLY) and I know I am witnessing the Redemptive Power of a Mighty GOD played out on a 9 year old soccer field.  Beauty from Ashes!

So when you hear me brag or holler like a crazy person or jump up and down on the soccer field watching her know that my story is much bigger than what appears to be happening on that field. Plucked from obscurity to be a champion - given a gift and talent to help her overcome insecurities.  A mechanism to propel her once again from unknown to known.  A true "underdog" story!

I cannot express how humbled I am to be witnessing her life and GOD's amazing plan for it.

#frailnomore
#wouldnotmissthisforanything
#beastmode
#consideradoptionitwillchangeyourlife

Good bye Teenagers

I hear many people saying ill things of their teenagers.  My mom use to tell my sister and I all the time "I can't wait for you girls to be gone" - and probably rightfully so.  We were both a handful in different ways.  I on the other hand have NEVER felt that way about my teenagers. I embraced everything that came with that phase in their lives.  They were both super involved in activities at school and had active social lives.  Now did I worry about them when they went "out" with friends - Absolutely!  Did they have missteps along the way - Absolutely again - no one goes through life without them.  But we embraced each mistake along the way and helped it be a learning lesson for each of them.

When I think back over their teenage years - these are some things that stick out in my mind:

Christopher was notorious for forgetting or losing things.  Forgetting his homework, books needed for class, fees or forms for various activities for school. I cannot count how many times my dad had to search for things at my house and drive to Lake Charles to bring Christopher whatever it was he needed.  Christopher even drove to school his senior year (yes I said SENIOR year) without his shoes on his feet.  He had to call me to bring him his shoes so he could go to class.  He has lost keys, uniforms, shoe (yes just one to the pair).  When Christopher was a freshman in high school I had bought him a uniform standard navy blue tie that he had to wear on Thursdays (mass day).  At this point, I had bought him 2 because he had lost one already.  Knowing that I would be upset with him for losing yet another and running out of time bc I'm certain he just realized he was without the tie on Wednesday night, he was creative.  He found a tie (purple paisley) and a navy blue jacket that obviously no one wore recently and made his own navy blue tie.  The sleeve of the jacket was cut off and apart for fabric that would be taped (yes hundreds of pieces of tape) to the existing purple paisley tie.  No one at school was the wiser.  I still have that tie with all the tape still holding that blue fabric.  Priceless piece of Christopher's handy work that we will laugh at forever.

Another memorable time is playoff basketball game in Baton Rouge.  Just a mere hours before game time he announces that he left his basketball shoes and will need another pair.  (Yes - losing and leaving shoes was a common theme in Christopher's life).  In the pouring rain, I set out to find a size 13 basketball shoe in the right color of white and blue - thankfully we found them in time for him to play the big game.  That boy was maddening sometimes but it was part of the abundance of life - the funny stuff that kept us in stitches.  His classmates and their parents even recognized that about him and parodied him in a skit at the Graduation Lock In.

Having a teenage girl is a different experience altogether.  The issues they deal with are completely opposite than what a teenage boy goes through.  With Lizzy there was definitely a little more drama (but not too much - lol) and Much Much more information that was shared with me.  Lizzy told me everything (or everything she wanted me to know).  I knew about friends, who likes who, who doesn't like who, who got on her nerves, what people were wearing -  I got a lesson in fashion, music and social correctness (aka how lame something was).  Lizzy was always very social and my house was full of her friends, hosted many picture sessions before dances, layout by the pool get togethers etc.  She included me in everything!  Junior year she asked if I would host the Junior Prom dinner for her group of friends - only 42 kids.  I was Super excited that she was allowing me to be part of that and I happily agreed - only to be given a stern look and told that I couldn't just HAVE dinner -  that it needed to be decorated according to the theme and look amazing.  No worries - I got this!  I jumped to work and borrowed, bought, ordered and had made all the things I needed to transform my house to an Arabian Night themed palace.

The dress shopping for the Homecoming Dresses, Prom Dresses, Twirp, etc. were an experience unto themselves.  We traveled far and wide (New York to Houston) to find the perfect dress, sometimes trying on so many I couldn't keep them all straight.  But when she knew it was THE dress, I could see it on her face and guaranteed my pocket book felt it.  Nothing with Lizzy ever came as a bargain but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Senior Prom I lucked out - 1st dress, 1st store was a winner!!!

Lizzy as compared to Christopher couldn't wait to get her license and a car.  And when she did I missed that time we spent together shuttling her from activity to activity.  I lost count of all of the whiskey dents that she had on her car from various mishaps on the road.  Thankfully that's all we had to deal with. It was the stories I got on how it happened that were more memorable than the actual dent was.  Oh Boy the recollection of a teenager when they have a fender bender. Christopher was not super excited to have his license - he was very non-chalant about it.  But once he got his license he had his share of whiskey dents too.  Backing up into his dads parked car in the driveway after walking right by it to get in his truck.  I can even admit that I backed straight into Lizzy in the driveway too - not looking back to see her pulling in.  Needless to say - car repairs were a bit of an expense at my house during those teenage years.

SPORTS!  Sports connects people for a common goal.  And me and my teenagers were no different.  Christopher played basketball throughout high school and in to college.  Game Days for me meant wearing the school colors - from head to toe! I never missed a game - I was front and center cheering him on - and screaming the loudest in the stands at the referees.  I was his biggest fan.  He was dedicated and worked hard throughout those 4 years to play at the level he wanted.  Lizzy cheered.  Going to see her cheer at football and basketball games was fun but the real fun was watching them prepare and preform for Cheer Camp and Competitions.  The cheer mom was cheering on her cheerleader and the team as we traveled near and far competing.  Lizzy too worked hard to perfect her tumbling skills so she could compete on the level she wanted.  Senior year paid off - her team won big at all camps and competitions we attended.  PRICELESS moments..... Seeing your teenagers work hard for something and getting the payoff they desire. 

The Graduation Lock In is an event that is tradition at St. Louis High School and was an amazing experience for both Me, as I volunteered to help with the event in 2012 and for Christopher and his friends. That night we spent locked in the McNeese athletic center playing silly games and relay races bonded the parents with each other and allowed parents and the kids to have closure to this chapter of their lives, ready to move on with the next step. One of my jobs was to create the end of the night slide show of all the kids favorite pictures throughout the last 4 years (and I nailed it if I say so myself)  It was funny, heartwarming and moving to see all the great memories they made together as a class.

I had so enjoyed Christopher's senior lock in I had started thinking about the planning for when it was Lizzy's turn.  The time went so quickly and there I was again, graduating another of my children.  When it was Lizzy's senior year the parent volunteers had decided not to do a lock in and my girl was devastated and so was I.  Lizzy asked me to help fix the situation and once again I said "No Worries - I got this". Me and some amazing moms pulled off the best Senior Lock In ever - with a theme of May Madness (spinoff of March Madness my favorite time of year).  It was a great night and at the end of the night I sat next to Lizzy and cried and cried that high school was ending.

Many conversations during their teen years centered around college and what they thought they wanted to be when they grew up - and that's a hard decision for an 18 year old to make.  Thankfully I have a job that opens my eyes to see beyond the top 5 career paths, i.e. Doctor, Lawyer, Nurse, Accountant or Engineer.  The time spent traveling to College Fairs and Campus Visits were priceless opportunities to connect with my kids and allow them to see the possibilities their futures hold.  They both were able to choose the college that was the best fit for them, offered the curriculum that would give them what they were looking for in their education and provide the "College" experience that they envisioned - and it was very different for both but perfect in the sense that they chose and I only guided.

I miss having teenagers in my house.  Yes folks I said that.  Let me say it again..... I miss having teenagers in my house. They brought laughter to my house with their quick witted humor and the way they argued with each other(and still do).  That part of my journey of being a mom was amazing and full of blessings beyond what I can describe in words.  It gets me teary eyed every time when I think about those years - I loved every moment of it and it wasn't always easy but so worth it.  I have some amazing young adults and having them now transition to their 20's isn't so bad - it is turning out to be just as rewarding a journey.

GOTCHA Day - #7

7 years ago in a tiny, overcrowded, cluttered and smelly office in Xian China, lives were changed forever.  After many months of waiting, I distinctly remember looking around at all the other families that were being brought together at that very moment wondering where is "the one", where is mine that I have waited for all these months...  And in that moment, she appears - asleep in the arms of the woman that cared for her for the first years of her life.  Many emotions ran through me that day but one look in her sweet scared face and I knew GOD had this. Gotcha Day's are special to me in a different way than Maddie and Mia's birthdays are.  I was there at that moment in time for their Gotcha Days - It marks the binding of what God so purposefully threaded together - the crescendo in the story that God is writing in my life.
When I think back at all the small details of that day I so vividly remember, this year I can't help but think about all the months I waited for her (and for Mia).  Waited.  But God uses "all things" we are told.  Even the wait, I ask myself?  Yes - He is IN the Waiting!!  Those 7 months I waited to travel to China and return with Maddie were teaching me something.  What I found was, during those painstaking months of waiting my reliance on GOD to get me through each second of the day was stronger than ever.  I fought back fear and insecurity through long prayer time and realized that HE was sufficient in my lacking.  That as we are inpatient and want instant gratification HE is working all the smallest of details out for HIS glory and our good.  I learned that wait is necessary - that the stillness that comes with waiting allows us to connect with our emotions.  To sit with them, feel them because they are telling us something.  Even in moments of joy or pain - our emotions speak to us and guide us to the Almighty.  The wait teaches us so many things.  My waiting taught me patience (which I am still not good at but getting better), perseverance, blind obedience, humility and many other things.  The Waiting is a necessary teacher in life.  Listen to it, learn from it - it is a worthy life lesson to learn.

Happy Gotcha Day Maddie! #changedforever #couldnotimaginelifewithouther

Thankfulness

On this eve of Thanksgiving, with all my precious kiddos tucked away for the night, I felt the need to express what I am thankful for.

 - I am thankful for each child God has blessed me with - their uniqueness and the special relationship I have with each one of them. Being their mom is my life's passion - its the best thing I have ever done and I am honored to be part of their lives.
- I am thankful for my family, who always have my back and are always willing to help me.  Life with them in it is a good thing!!
 -I am thankful for my amazing friends, who have seen me through good and bad times and are always there to laugh and cry with me.
 - I am thankful for lessons learned, although some have been very difficult, its those that shape and mold me into who GOD needs me to be.
 - I am thankful for what I don't have anymore, although at one time I thought it was something that I couldn't live without, I am finding that life is better than ever before and I am glad I trusted GOD through the journey.
 - I am thankful for the opportunity I am given everyday to LOVE people.  People who have been in my life forever, people who just entered my life and those that haven't yet crossed my path but will in the future.
 - I am thankful for the gifts that only come from GOD, humbleness, grace, mercy, forgiveness and HOPE.
 - I am thankful for my life and the opportunities I have to enjoy it.  I love that GOD gave me a beautiful story as my testimony - one filled with hardships, heartaches, triumphs and redemptions.

Happy Thanksgiving.

LOVE in a text message

It all started with an everyday text message that my daughter shared with me that her sweet boyfriend sent to her.  The text message was probably like most texts they share between themselves.  Lizzy and her sorority had been practicing for many long hours and for weeks to prepare for their performance at what is known as Pigskin during Baylor’s Homecoming Weekend. He simply asked if it was still possible for him to get a ticket to the performance on Friday night as he was thinking of coming into town to watch her perform.  No big deal right?  Then he followed it up with “Its important to you and you’ve put in a lot of hard work”.  Wow!  I mean Wow!  That simple text message she shared with me opened a gulf of emotions for me that for the next couple of days I had to swim through.  What struck me so profoundly about his words to her is his capacity (with his limited years on this earth) to love her – through being thoughtful as well as care about things that are important to her.  AND That is how I feel about all of my children.  If its important to them, then its important to me.  That’s love my friends. 

 This small expression from Lizzy’s boyfriend made me think deeply about the love I have for my children and what I believe TRUE Love to be.  And there is a difference between love and true love – maybe the latter should be called something different but for the purpose of this post that’s what we will go with.  Most use the term Love very loosely – I love Cheetos or I love my job and even some say I love my children.  But do you REALLY love??  Is it surface love, where the words are there but its void of any action or deep feelings?  Or is it the unadulterated, raw, exposed, deep level of love?  The kind of love that sends you to a country half way around the world, to adopt a child that you have only seen in pictures, the kind of love that drives 4.5 hours one way to see a 3 minute performance only to make the same drive home the next morning, the kind of love that LONGS to see the faces of your children all together at a dinner table, because eating together is one of the most personal expressions of love and family, the kind of LOVE that makes your heart ache when you are not with your child because he has moved away to follow his dream, or the kind of love that prays for their future spouses, that they will love them as purely as you do, or that wants them to have what you had growing up (an amazing involved father and/or an intact family) even though they may not know what they are missing – You WANT it for them!.  You occasionally hear people state – I would die for my kids.  Maybe so but would you pick up the phone and call them, find out about their life, be an active part of it – would you do that?  Those are the things that LOVE drives you to do on a daily basis.  Not very many people are ever faced with the option of having to die to save their children, but it’s the small inconsequential things in life that we miss that matter the most and that prove our Love to people (not just specifically our children)

Sitting with the deep realization of someone’s limited capacity to LOVE can be sobering.  Seeing your own capacity to love and love deeply is humbling.  And I mean the raw, vulnerable, exposed love at a level that can only come from GOD himself.  When we know GOD, he allows us to see a glimpse of his capacity to love us, even to love those that turn from him and that is overwhelming.  The expression of LOVE that GOD provided us in his son Jesus is played out in the smallest details of our life.  His love carries us through the mundane’s of everyday life – folding the clothes to caring for the dog, his love always finds us and picks us up at our lowest point and holds our heads above water until we can get a proper footing.  His love finds us at our most vulnerable and stands in the gap for us.  His love sends angels in the form of best friends to walk alongside of you in life.  His love impacts your heart and brings you to your knees and on your face to pray for those that hurt you and are lost – because you know that GOD stands in the gap for you so you must stand in the gap for those that don’t know him.  It’s GOD’s love living through you that calls you to action.  But here’s the best part… truly experiencing GOD’s love is the way to JOY in your life.  Even in the midst of trials and tribulations  - GOD’s love lets you experience the JOY.  It is so hard to articulate the love of GOD in a way that people can truly feel it – to make words come together to relay to its reader the awesomeness and all encompassing LOVE of Christ.  This was my feeble attempt,  as GOD’s love is deep – it makes my soul hurt – so much so that my body reacts with tears, so words just sometimes are not enough.  And to think it all started with a simple text message. 

 

 

P.S.  Most of my revelations from GOD are always related to my children, as he knows they are the gateway to my heart – He uses that to teach me and relate his message so clearly. 

Life Lessons

What a journey life is!  It is never quite what we expect or plan for. Over the past couple of years I have been learning so much about my life journey.  For many years in my life I wanted to forgo the hurt, pain and disappointment of life - I wanted to coast by with a smile on my face with everything being peaches and roses.  That, unfortunately (well fortunately - we will get to that in a minute) isn't how life is.  That philosophy kept me stuck in a very bad, unhealthy and dysfunctional marriage for way to long and frankly didn't hold water in theory or practice.  I refused to acknowledge that someone was repeatedly hurting me and did not want to deal with the ugliness of the situation - so I swallowed and stayed stuck.  BUT - there comes a time when every girl must put on her big girl panties and face the stark reality and deal with it.  So here is the fortunately part I mentioned - Life isn't peaches and roses.  In our failures, our broken relationships, our pain - there is learning, growth and healing - how amazing is that!  When we acknowledge that Bad is Bad or painful is painful then and only then can we fully experience the Good, the Happy, the Joyful and the Hopeful in life.

Through this journey my children have had to learn many life lessons.  Tough ones.  But the one thing I NEVER expected was that "the taught" has now become "the teacher."  Many months ago I distinctly remember telling my son that he was now the "constant" male figure in our lives.  That he would need to step in with the littles where his dad had stepped out.  That was really all to that conversation.  There was a head nod as I remember but no other fanfare or beating of his chest or telling me what he is going to do - just a simple head nod, acknowledging that he heard and that he's got this.  Christopher has now graduated college and moved home for what we know is a short time while he secures the next step in his life. (job or graduate school).  But he has not forgotten his commitment he gave me to step in where Keith had stepped out.  He has lovingly cared for his sisters.  He is generous with his time with them, swimming, playing video games and pokemon go, cooking for them and even teaching them to cook.  He has lovingly and patiently refereed many disagreements between Maddie and Mia, most times even better that I could.  Just recently I went to Christopher in a very low moment.  Tears were flowing and although he did not want to entertain the circumstances of what had transpired that brought me to tears - I asked him one simple question - What do I do?  He shrugged his shoulders and the short conversation was over.  Later that evening I received a text message from him, detailing his suggestions and strategies I could put in place to overcome my dilemma.  It read like a man with life experience beyond measure wrote those words.  In that moment our roles reversed and I was being taught and taught well, from a man who I taught well.   Over the past few days I have thought a lot about this particular situation of guidance Christopher gave me and took a step back and looked at his time with us at home as a whole and have a new perspective.  I think back to that simple nod, the no fanfare -  just him showing up the past 2 years (on vacations, at holidays and now at home) to do the job he knew he needed
to.  I think to myself - isn't that how Jesus came to this earth - quietly with no fanfare, to step in and do a job he knew we needed him to do for us.  Christopher has such an amazing spirit about him - one that models those things Jesus modeled for us and that makes me PROUD. 

Again, its through life's disappointments, hurt and pain that comes moments such as the one with my son, moments where I feel the love of my friends and family, moments where I see the hope in new friendships and relationships.  Do I like to experience those difficult times anymore than I use to - of course not - I am just learning that GOD uses ALL things to his Glory and that if we look hard we too can see the blessings, no matter how small, that come out of those circumstances.  They mold us and shape us into who GOD wants us to be and for that I am Grateful!

A special day for a special girl!

Time….  It goes by so quickly…. Especially when you have something to measure against it.

6 years ago the most amazing, tenacious, determined, ball of energy entered our lives, although she entered meekly, mildly, scared and unsure.  I'll never forget her frail frame and her scared little face, unsure of who we were, where she was going and what was happening in her little world.

Time… it changes things… it heals and it allows for growth …..

And boy has Maddie grown!  She has grown into a beautiful 8 year old.  One who is sensitive and caring but rough and tough.  I can't imagine my life without her.  She makes me want to be a better person and a better mom!  I love her more than words could ever express.  And today we celebrate that moment in time where our lives changed forever….  Maddie's GOTCHA Day.  And before the festivities began, I read my blog entry to her that I wrote 6 years ago and looked into her sweet face and told her how special she was and that GOD has a special purpose for her on this earth.

I cannot thank GOD enough for allowing me the privilege of being her mother.  What a wonderful day to celebrate (its my favorite celebration throughout the year).

Friends and family gathered to celebrate this milestone with us.  Although the BIGS could not be with us, we did FaceTime during our celebration.  Chinese food, in beautiful chinese dishes with a beautiful cupcake display made special for Maddie.  Nothing could be better.

Brave

I recently heard a song by Bethel Music that made me pause and think.  The song was called "You Make Me Brave".  The lyrics say -  

"You make me brave, you called me out beyond the shore into the waves."
"You make me brave, no fear can hinder now the promises you made."
"Because your love, in wave after wave, crashes over me. "
"For you are for us, you are not against us.  Champion of heaven you made a way."

I pondered that song and listened to it over and over again.  I concluded that GOD has made me Brave.  In the midst of my storm, he filled me with his promises, never left my side and pulled out of me the bravery he knew was there.  The bravery to face the difficult decisions, to forge ahead and make a new life for me and my children.

I recently gathered up all my kids during this Christmas break and decided it was time for new family pictures.  A symbol of what my new normal is - the face of what my family now looks like.  I use to be afraid of that picture.  The one where I am leading this amazing bunch of young people by myself.  I used to be scared that I could not do it - that without an intact family we were doomed.  GOD and his promises has helped me face my fears.  He has made me realize that He called me beyond my comfort zone into the waves, to strengthen my faith, my reliance on HIM - to a life of abundance and one that HE has prepared for me.  A life where GOD makes all wrongs right, where he uses ALL things to HIS glory.

I am BRAVE!  And as the old saying goes - the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree - so are my children BRAVE!

I LOVE our new family pictures!  I LOVE my family!

Hope in the New Year

And just like that… a new year rings and the calendar turns the page.  Its merely symbolic, but feels like much more, like a blank page - like the refresh button has been pushed and we get to begin again - with new choices, new friendships, new experiences.

Each year instead of making a new years resolution I choose a theme for the year.  2015 I did not choose a theme, as my life was in a bit of turmoil and looking back, the year seems to have had a direction of its own and I was only along for the ride.  2016 I am committed to having one that can focus the years perspective.  I have chosen an appropriate one for the next chapter of my life; HOPE.

The definition of HOPE as a verb (with action) is to have confidence and trust; to desire and consider the possible.  With all the heartache and difficult truths that have been revealed to me this past year that I have had to face - I choose HOPE - I choose to have confidence and trust my GOD, that he has amazing things for me in this new year.  I choose to consider the possibility that I will find fulfillment and love, and that I am worthy of those things.  I have HOPE that my beautiful children will be relatively unaffected by the choices of others and will take away valuable life lessons from 2015.

I don't want to look back anymore, I want to keep my eyes focused on the future.  I want a spirit of Adventure so that I can explore things that are new with an open mind and open heart.  Although my past experiences will never leave me as they shape and define who I am going forward - I want to HOPE for amazing things in the coming year.  I want to HOPE that GOD increases my territory and allows me to be an example to others of what HOPE can bring, the doors that it can open, the life it can restore!  HOPE, a small 4 letter word that can change someone's world.

Happy New Year!

And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Psalm 39:7

Triumph and Mickey Mouse

There have been many changes in our family over the past year.  Some are expected and although bittersweet, are part of children growing up and finding their way.  Some were unexpected and those are the ones that truly define your character.  It has been many months of growing, changing, accepting and letting life move on.  Thanksgiving was our first big Holiday we spent as a redefined family unit.  Anticipating the void that may have been there, I decided what better way to celebrate the holiday of giving thanks than in the wonderful world of Mickey Mouse.  Me and the 5 kids made the journey to Disneyworld for a few days.  This was my first family trip that I planned, paid for and lead my children as a single parent.  I was understandably nervous but what transpired was something amazing.  I witnessed my older children ban together and step in and up to help me where and when they saw I needed it.  We were a cohesive team - a family that is healing and through tough times binds together.  I witnessed sweet moments of love and endearment between the bigs and littles that I have not seen before.  This trip had a different tone to it - one that was fluid, open, happy and carefree.  We all felt it!  Triumph!

Through difficult times I have been triumphant and this was a milestone for me.  This triumph was more than just about making a trip to see Mickey Mouse, it was about the many months of praying for my family, rising up from the hurt, dealing with tough issues, dealing with the grief and finding a "new normal" - an abundant life that GOD promises.  Its been a journey and I am so thankful that I have raised and am raising such compassionate and loving children.

Rising up from the Ashes

November is one of my favorite months and not for the reason most people would think.  November is National Adoption Awareness Month.  Several years ago, in the blink of an eye, GOD put the call of Adoption on my heart and forever in my life.  For me, adoption was not just a way to expand my family but a true calling from GOD to "take up the cause of the orphan."

I was inspired this morning during worship at church.  As we sang "Glorious Ruins", I realized that my girls and all other adopted children with their forever families have Risen up from the Ashes. The ashes from which they were innocently born into, the tragedies that are their stories.  They have overcome and are victorious!  As I think about the lyrics of this beautiful praise and worship song and how it so applies to the lives of my precious baby girls and other adoptive children around the world, I realize that  those same biblical principles apply to my life, to your life, to everyone's life.  We all face tragedies and have "ruins" in our lives.  We suffer addictions, grief, illnesses and divorce.  But GOD promises that He will be there to raise us up, to heal our hurts, let our souls find refuge with him and renew our spirit and our lives.  Beauty from ashes….

And as I rejoice in my victory and the victory of my girls, I am deeply burdened for all the orphans still in existence all over the world.  I pray that we hear their silent cries - their cries for someone to love them, someone to hold them and for a forever family.  I pray that people in my community and those that read my blog will see this as a call to action.  A call for them to open their hearts to what GOD is calling them to do "for the least of these"….  Is Adoption for everyone - no,  But everyone can do something for Adoption - whether it be donating to an orphanage, becoming a foster family, praying for orphans and for adoptive families or helping to bring awareness to orphan needs.

I want to leave you with the video of the acoustical version of the song.  Be blessed, Be Moved, Be Transformed into what GOD calls you to be….



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfm2pkCggxw

Grace and Mercy

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   I have taken a long unexpected hiatus from my blog.  As we all know life can sometimes get in the way of taking the time needed to nurture a blog. 2015 has been filled with challenges of many kinds but I think the most important take away, we as a family have, is Grace and Mercy.  When reflecting on the many circumstances, happenings and challenges of 2015, I can see GOD's hands of grace and mercy, bestowing blessing and forgiveness upon our lives.

   
   

   Lizzy finished her final chapter of high school and after careful thought and consideration chose a college and not just any college, Baylor University.  It was with a very heavy heart that I closed that chapter with her and sent her off to find the life GOD has planned for her.  I was extremely blessed to have had the time to focus on her and all of the senior activities that come with graduation and beyond.  This summer we celebrated her accomplishments in high school, her scholarships to college and took quality time with each other to acknowledge that special bond and bring a proper close to that time in our lives as well as look forward to the future.  There were tears this summer as Lizzy put her heart and soul into Baylor Cheerleader tryouts and did not make the team.  Although her heart was broken, she was able to see that when GOD closes a door he always opens one that is better.  It was a teachable moment for both of us, learning to trust that GOD knows whats best for us and that sometimes HE does not give us what our heart desires.   Lizzy has made the transition to college life seamlessly.  She is getting into the groove of her classes, made new friends and is getting involved, as she was chosen to be part of the Freshman Class Community organization.  It is a humbling thing to see the doors GOD is opening for her and her to realize that HE always provides.
   

   

   
   

   
   

   Maddie worked extremely hard all school year and finished 1st grade on target.  As I have said before she is a driven and tenacious little girl.  Although more challenges lie ahead academically for her, she looks at those challenges with a spirit of determination to overcome.  And although she cannot articulate that determination, if you ever meet her, you know its there.  Maddie made the decision to follow in her brother and sisters footsteps and attend Camp Champions summer camp.  She was gone for 2 weeks (and would have stayed for the third week had it not been booked up) and absolutely loved the camp experience, as I knew she would.  It was a time for her to step outside of her comfort zone, gain some self esteem (which Camp Champions is the best at doing) and find her inner champion.  As a camper some of the monumental activities that they do even as young as Maddie is the Lake Swim or in Maddie case a 1 kilometer pool swim.  Its really not about the fastest time or best technique or even about swimming, its about teaching them to overcome their fears, finding their determination and finishing - never giving up.  In true Maddie form, she delivered and delivered well - being the first girl and 2nd all around finisher in the pool swim.  The heart of a champion!!!!  We have started second grade with more confidence than we had the year before which has helped propel her to reading and math levels that we didn't think we would see until the end of the school year.  What an amazing little girl and with all of her qualities I have described she is still a very tender soul, in tune with other peoples feelings.  I know GOD has big plans for Maddie and I am so glad he has chosen me to come along for the ride as her Mother.
   
   
   

   

   
   

   
   

   Mia is 4 now and is such a handful.  Her vocabulary has expanded exponentially.  She is full of sass and personality.  Out of all of my children she has broken the mold.  She is all girl and loves all things that bling, shine and sparkle.  She loves make-up, jewelry and high heel shoes.  I can only imagine the drama that will come with her homecomings and proms.  She has started Pre-K 4 and is doing well in her class and giving the teacher a run for her money.  Mia tends to not take things too seriously and likes to joke and although we have seen some progress with her skills they are now beginning to lag a little behind the class, leaving us unsure as to what to contribute it to - a learning issue or personality.  And as we make the necessary adjustments we pray that she will adjust to the rigors of the classroom and find a learning method that works for her.
   
   

   

   
   

   Christopher is becoming a man, turning 21 this year and has continued his work on campus and is laying a foundation for his future career.  The film club he founded on campus won a prestigious Addy award, both locally and on a regional level, for an advertisement series they did on the Girls Rugby Team.  The advertisement/videos were creative and insightful.  He is very talented and is using the Gifts God gave him and not taking them for granted.  This was the first summer that he did not come home which made me sad knowing that those times have ended, that he is becoming a man and will be leaving the nest for real!!!  He secured an internship which turned into a paying summer job as a production assistant for the upcoming Hollywood film - USS Indianapolis starring Nicholas Cage.  What an amazing experience for him and how amazing that GOD opened that door for him. He has started his senior year at Springhill and he is ever so focused on finishing his senior project, graduating and moving on into his career.  I pray that GOD will bless him with the wisdom and knowledge to know what his next move should be for his life.  I also pray that in the pursuit of success (whatever Christopher defines that as) that he doesn't forget what the abundance of life is (family), to always do something that he is passionate about and never forget to "give back" or "pay it forward".  He has such a kind spirit, I pray that the world does not taint or corrupt that authentic quality about him.  One thing I must mention is that with all of what has happened this year, he has been my hero, stepping up to be a positive male influence in the lives of all of his sisters.  Taking the role as leader alongside of me and for this I am ever so grateful and in awe of his compassion and maturity.

   
   

   

   Keith and I finished our 22 year marriage this year and have moved into a co-parent relationship. Although this has been the hardest thing for me to deal with this year amongst the many other changes happening in our family, I have trusted GOD each step of the way.  I have a wonderful family, great friends and some amazing children that have rallied around me to lift me up.  Life goes on and I am learning that sometimes GOD needs to remix your life - remove people that hinder your growth in the Lord so that you can reach your full potential that GOD has for you.  So at the beginning of my post I referenced Grace and Mercy and I have reflected on those 2 words and their meanings:
   
   Grace is the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. Mercy is Compassion or forgiveness
   
   WOW - I know that I have the unmerited favor of GOD - I look around me and see it through all the blessings he has bestowed upon me this year.  And some things did not look like blessings but through prayer and time I have realized that they were.  Mercy - God is so forgiving of me and compassionate towards those that he loves.  I see GOD's mercy manifest itself in me being able to extend forgiveness and be compassionate to others.  I am excited about what 2016 has in store for me and my children and what GOD will reveal to me while I walk the walk of life with him by my side.  Amazing things to come…….

A legacy…..

My blog is normally a place where I journal about my kids but even though I have not posted in quite a while I felt the need to write about an amazing experience I had today.  In a setting that is normally reserved for tears and mourning (although that did occur) we celebrated the life of my Uncle Bobby Breaux as he left this earth for bigger and better things.  He was the 5th child out of 7 that my grandmother had.  He was raised without a father and very poor.  Knowing my grandmother the way I did, he was the closest in personality to her of all her children (she was an amazing soul - but that is for another post).  My Uncle Bobby accomplished many things in his lifetime, but one thing stood out today as we looked back over the 78 years he was on this earth - He committed his life to being a good son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather and uncle to our family.

In today's society we see the perpetual decline of standards, morals and values.  The sanctity of family is lost to many of our upcoming generations.  My Uncle was not one that walked with the grain.  He was a strong Family man, one that committed himself to loving his wife and raising his children in an intact family.  He committed himself to being a champion for his children, no matter their choices or circumstances.  He loved each one unconditionally.  As his children grew and grandchildren came into his life, that same philosophy rang true for each of them, as well as for his sister and brothers, nieces and nephews.

I witnessed each of his 5 grandchildren eloquently speak about their grandfather.  A man who championed each one, was their constant cheerleader to the them and about them to the family.  He encouraged them and was there with them helping as he could each step of the way on their journey of life.  He was a man that valued education, although he was born of a mother who had little more than an 8th grade education.  He encouraged his children and grandchildren to be educated, to make a difference and to be the best person they could be.  He spent quality time with each and every one of his loved ones.  He valued his connection with his family and never took for granted one moment in his family's lives.  The common thread in all of their speeches today, was that he reminded them to never forget about your family - that IT is the most important thing.  That is the legacy he leaves this world - a legacy of strong family values.

How refreshing in this day to find a man who still valued family.  A man who did not take for granted the moments with family (that are seemingly unimportant in the grand scheme of every day life) but are the abundance of life, and he knew it, he lived it.  My grandmother valued those same things and as the old saying goes, the apple did not fall very far from the tree.

Tonight as all of my kids are under my roof  and I hear the littles playing with the big kids, I know that I am blessed.  Blessed beyond belief to have a loving extended family of cousins, aunts, uncles, a wonderful mom and dad that I could not live without, an amazingly supportive sister and 4 beautiful and amazing children who add joy to every moment in my life.  I wouldn't give up one moment with my family for anything in the world.  I'm proud to be a part of this amazing legacy called the Breaux family…  I pray for my cousins as they grieve the loss of a wonderful man.  I know I will see him in heaven again one day - what is bound together on earth is bound in heaven…..

Undefeated!

Maddie returned for another soccer season this fall on a new team.  A team of 7 little 7 year olds.  What we knew from the last 2 sessions of soccer is that she was very good at it.  This season revealed just how good she really is.  Maddie is actually unbelievably talented in this sport.  When we arrived at the very first practice - the other parents were high fiving each other when they realized Maddie was on the team.  From there and throughout the season referees, opponents parents, our team parents approached us after each game just in awe of how good Maddie is.  She was scoring up to 18 points each game -  with ending scores for us in the double digits and the opponents team with single digit scores - sometimes scoring nothing at all against us.  Maddie led our little team of 7 year olds to an undefeated season!  It was amazing to watch her!!!!




When I think of this season there are many things besides just kicking a soccer ball that come to mind.  For me, I see a little girl who has a spirit of determination, one that drives her to be the best - to overcome obstacles both on the field, in the classroom and in life.  I see someone who GOD not only blessed with an amazing athletic ability but a dynamic sense of strategy and the ability to apply those strategic goals in the game.  I think about a small baby girl abandoned with medical issues, living in an orphanage that rose from the bottom to her forever family - UNDEFEATED!

You cannot say the word undefeated without thinking about a Savior, who died, rose from the dead for our sins - HE IS UNDEFEATED.  As his children, we are undefeated.  Although Maddie had an undefeated soccer season - her savior continues to prove that he is UNDEFEATED and hence so will she be undefeated.

I revel in the fact of how amazing our GOD is.  I am excited each day to see Maddie grow into the person that GOD intended her to become.  I am truly blessed to be her mom!  What a journey.....

1st day of 1st Grade

Today was Maddie's 1st day of 1st Grade.  She has been excited about moving up to the "big campus" at school and wearing a uniform like the other big kids, and she was so cute wearing it.

Maddie spent the summer being tutored on her reading and spelling skills so that she didn't lose any of that before starting 1st grade.  She is a hard working little girl who is determined to conquer all that stands in her way!  I know that she will have a great year!

As she exited the car this morning - the song that spoke most to my heart while waiting to travel to get Maddie was playing - "Mighty to Save".  One of the lyrics say "He can move the mountains".  It just reminded me at that moment the mountains he moved to get this special little girl home to her forever family.  He has something special planned for her.

Mia insisted that even though she didn't start school until tomorrow that I take her picture too!  Tomorrow is her BIG day in Pre-K3.  Her teacher better get ready! lol